Choices-we all have them

Hey all.  You know we had choices whether to move Mom in with us or put her in an assisted living. I personally could not accept the assisted living.  I was afraid of strange people not caring for my Mother the way I would.  That fear still exists.

I knew there would be many challenges in caregiving and a lot of learning involved.  I thought I had a clue of what I was getting into!  As time went on, I realized there was much involved.  Time, finances, proper care, privacy issues, grieving for the loss of a loved one, and the list goes on (and the list includes how it has affected all of us in the household). 

Mom really handled all the changes well considering moving, losing her husband, and being in a whole new environment.  The first week of Dad being gone, Mom started making faces (yes funny faces), and as time passed I realized that the faces represent her feelings.  Some are laughter (and yes I make faces back), some are sad, some are pain, some are happy looks (big smiles), some are the I'm puzzled look, and my favorite:  The what's up look!  Mom spoke more the first couple of months she was here.  As the months have passed her language skills are getting more silent.  We are going to try a speech therapist this week (will let you all know how it turns out) for language and swallowing issues. 

Even though the road has had its definite rough spots, I would not trade the time I have had with my Mother and the bonding we have shared.  Some day we may have to make the assisted living decision, but not today. Till next time, hang tight!

Humor day

Hi everyone.  I am going to lighten up today.  Humor is so good for caregiver's (at least for me)!  Mom has been with us since February 2010.  When Dad was still alive he used to tell me how much Mom loved to walk around their condo complex.  She would just take off when he was resting, not paying attention, etc...she would just wander off until he noticed her gone.  He had cancer so it was not a pretty picture.  He was proud too and we could not get him to let us help him with Mom.  He felt that by taking complete care of Mom that it helped him fight the cancer, so he could be around longer.

So that leads into what happened after Mom was with us for about 2 weeks.  My husband works swing shift from about 4pm to 4am.  We had been moving Mom's personals into our house and getting her bedroom ready.  We had the basics here such as:  clothes, meds, bed, dresser, shoes, and personal items.  Mom had tried to wander off a few times here too, but we always busted her before she got too far!

My husband asked me on a Monday morning if I had left one of the suitcases by the trunk of the car in the driveway.  He thought I might have because we had brought things from the condo to our house over the weekend.  I said "I don't think so", but with everything thats going on, its possible.  So he informs me that there was a suitcase on the driveway behind the car and that he brought it into the garage.  I went out to bring the bulging suitcase in (Mom's red suitcase) and opened it up.  Mom was in the kitchen watching my every move, not saying a word.  When I opened the suitcase it was completely filled with shoes (Amelda Marcus, that's Mom) and hangers with the clothes on them.  I looked at Mom and said how did the suitcase get out on the driveway by the car?  Her reponse:  I took it out there and tried to open the trunk and couldn't, so I came back in and went to bed.

Now picture this:  a 5'3" woman in her night gown, in the middle of the night, lugging a 70lb suitcase to the driveway!  I asked where were you going?  She said "Back to the condo to live alone". 

So needless to say we had to take measures to prevent this from happening again.  Safety is a big issue with a dementia patient.  Till next time-hang tight!

Trying to keep up

Well its Wednesday, more like 5 days since the first blog rather than just a couple.  A little more on Moms disease.  Frontal Lobe dementia (known as FTD from this point forward) affects the executive part of the brain (the frontal lobe).  Its main characteristics are language, organization, hygiene, and being uninhibited.  Throughout Mom's life she was always in an administrative capacity in her career.  When it came to finances, scheduling, history, politics, and always looking her best, she had it all.

FTD as it progress's (towards the end) looks a lot like Alzheimer's as the whole brain continues deteriorating.  I mention all this, so as I continue with this blog, you will have a better understanding of this disease.

Looking back at the progress of this disease it was very subtle at first.  Time to get the family fed.  Next blog will be much lighter and fun (there are some good times to caregiving also).  Humor is key to caregiving!!!!!!!

The start of something new

This is a new adventure!  I hope by blogging about my adventures in caregiving that not only will others gain hope and courage, but I too, continue to be strong.

My name is Jackie.  My mother Alberta has Frontal Lobe Dementia (a very rare dementia that only strikes about 12% of all dementia patients).  This disease (yes it is a disease), starts out as young as the mid 40's. There are no medications, no cure, and getting proper diagnosis takes persistence.  Mom was diagnosed with it in July of 2009.  She was originally diagnosed in 2008 with Alzheimer's (which was not what she had).  She has been my patient since February of 2010, when we lost my father.  Mom is a young 69 years of age and I am a young caregiver.  Over the past year I have learned much, loved much, bonded much, and laughed much.  I have also grieved, cried, isolated, and fought back.

So there you have it.  I hope to blog at least every other day.  This blog will be filled with love, humor, and above all gratitude.  This is one of my outlets and I hope you will follow along on my journey!