Bright Lights and lots of smiles!

The 4rth of July in Florida is always unpredictable.  I had not been out of the house for almost two weeks and was going nuts (that's putting it mildly).  So I had these grandiose plans of going to Clearwater or St. Pete Beach to see some of the best light shows over the water.  Well, with Florida weather those plans changed and in hindsight, for the best.  The little City of Port Richey (population around 3.5K) had a fireworks show at a waterfront park.  After watching the radar all afternoon we decided to take a chance and go. 

It was Mom, my husband, and I.  As we got within two miles of the park, traffic got rough, the clouds were talking and shooting light!  We decided to continue on.  We got by the park entrance and the police officer said they had 3 more spots in the park for parking.  I was just going to ask where we could park as Mom could not walk for miles as others were doing.  We were the second to last car to get parking in the park.  Talk about being watched over! 

Larry gathered our chairs and soda and I gathered Mom.  We found a beautiful spot on a hill to set up camp. There was a beautiful breeze off the water and the clouds were quieting down.

From the moment we left the car, Mom was like a little kid looking at all the people and smiling all the while.  After sitting for a bit, Mom started getting ants in her pants and got up to walk.  Larry said let her walk a bit and he would follow her from a distance.  As she walked past dozens of people, she stopped by a man in a scooter and just stood there and smiled at him.  I could see he was talking to her but all she did was smile back at him.  Larry caught up with her and walked a bit further.  On the way back to camp, Mom had to stop and smile at the man on the scooter one more time. 

I watched Mom on and off throughout the fireworks show.  It was like watching a child, fascinated with the lights and sounds of our Great America.  Her eyes lit up and every so often she would grab and hold my hand.  I am so glad we ventured out to see the  little town show.  God had everything fall into place for us.  When we got home, I thought what if this is the last July 4rth with my Mom?  If it is, it was perfect!!!

Be happy and hang tight!

Doctors, Doctors Everywhere!

Hi all.  Yes, we still live and breathe!  Finished with the Doctor's for now with Mom except the speech therapy once a week.  It is going well.  It does not make Mom talk anymore but helps with her understanding, pronunciation, and communication in general.  We also practice at home a couple of times a week by finishing phrases, describing pictures, etc... 

We saw Mom's FTD Dr. last week and went over the brain scan and we all met with the Dr.  Its kinda cool because the Dr. takes Mom in by herself and runs her tests and scopes how Mom's overall happiness level is and then invites the rest of the family in without Mom to compare notes and answer questions.  So the prognosis is:  Mom is happy and content,  her orientation skills are doing well, and she is at a moderate stage of her disease if you figure in all aspects of her brain (some areas are good/others are not).  It was very interesting seeing the brain scan.  There are actually pieces of her frontal lobe missing where there was once brain mass.  The dark holes have gotten larger from the scan back in 2009.  No signs at all of Alzheimer's.  It is eerie to see just blank spots.

Anyway, where have I been.  I have been recuperating from major surgery from 3 weeks ago.  Feel great, but still not allowed to do anything for another week.  For the first two weeks, it was hard.  I was not suppose to do anything at all, not even drive.  Depending on others for my own needs is hard enough to swallow but also having to depend on others fully for Mom's care was even worse.  It seems no one can live up to my expectations as to how my Mom should be taken care of.  I can definitely feel for whatever nursing facility my Mom may end up at, because I am very demanding in the respect I want my Mom clean at all times.  And yes, I did things I should not have done but Mom's cleanliness is extremely important to me. 

So what did I learn from the experience?  Mom's cleanliness and needs are more important to me than they are to  Mom.  I learned to let go and let God /others do what I could not.  My husband and son stepped up to the plate without striking out.  My grandmother (Mom's Mom) gave up her fun time and bed to come help out with what she could.  I am grateful!

So there's where we are-how about you?  Be happy and hang tight!

Too Long!!!

Okay, I'll admit it-I have denied my blog.  When you are care giving time flies when you don't want it to and drags when you wish it would fly. 

We have been to more Dr's in the last couple of weeks than I care to count!  After all is said and done, Mom is doing well.  She had a brain scan done and there has been some deterioration but nothing out of the ordinary (I should have had them check mine too to make sure something is still there!).  Regular check up went great.  We went to a speech therapist to work on her talking and also had a swallowing test.  The swallowing test just shows that her brain takes a little time to tell her to swallow and everything else is fine.  We have now started using a straw for liquids and she does swallow quicker.  We had our first speech therapy session yesterday and it went great!  Mom likes the therapist and she was talking up a storm.  So Kelly will be a part of our weekly schedule for awhile.

Okay you all know by now that I love humor-it keeps me sane.  Mom's two new words in the past couple of weeks have been:  Key Lime Pee (Yum) and take your pick:  Caca Sauce or Cock Sauce (shrimp anyone?).

Till next time Be happy and hang tight!

Happy Mother's Day!

Just a quick writing today.  I am extremely grateful to have the opportunity to watch over Mom.  Yes, it is a lot of work!  Its draining emotionally, financially, and socially.  Again, I would not trade it for the world!  Its very sad to see someone slip away, but with Mom's particular dementia she is still alert to what's going on.  She may not be able to express it with the right words but she's here with us.  She is just smiling away today as I greeted her this morning with my regular Good Morning but than added Happy Mother's Day. 

We are going to go get Mom's Mom (yes that's right, 93 year old Grandma) and bring her over (yes she still lives on her own), and have a southern barbecue.  Its funny how life works.  Grandma is 93 and pretty much independent and her daughter (Mom) is completely dependent.  I am very fortunate to have these women in my life.

An additional note, thank you Mom number 2 (Carol) for being a wonderful loving part of my life and to my mother-in-law (Beverly) for accepting me as your daughter in law with open arms!  Happy Mother's Day to all and until next time-hang tight!

Another funny!

Hi all!  The adventure continues.  I went to pick Mom up at Adult Daycare yesterday (she has just started attending 5 days a week instead of three), and the nurse asked to speak with me. 

For those who don't know Mom is always smiling and sweet.  You can't help but love her.  At the Adult Daycare, they have many activities and its great socialization for Mom.  Dancing is one of the activities.  They have folks come in for free and sing.  Then the folks who are capable of dancing, just get up and dance.  I bring up the dancing because Mom's favorite dancing partner is Jimmy. 

The nurse proceeds to tell me that Mom whacked Jimmy upside the head earlier in the day (just a tap really).  Then Jimmy was ready to whack Mom back when the Activities Director said, "Don't even think about it Jimmy!"  Mom's not in trouble but they do have to document these things and let the caregiver know. 

So I am asking Mom what prompted her to smack Jimmy?  She just smiles.  I never really got an answer.  My conclusion:  She just felt like doing it! 

So we had the talk.  Mom you can't go around hitting or touching your friends at the Adult Center.  She acknowledged that she would not.  Time will tell!  Till next time-be happy and hang tight!

Choices-we all have them

Hey all.  You know we had choices whether to move Mom in with us or put her in an assisted living. I personally could not accept the assisted living.  I was afraid of strange people not caring for my Mother the way I would.  That fear still exists.

I knew there would be many challenges in caregiving and a lot of learning involved.  I thought I had a clue of what I was getting into!  As time went on, I realized there was much involved.  Time, finances, proper care, privacy issues, grieving for the loss of a loved one, and the list goes on (and the list includes how it has affected all of us in the household). 

Mom really handled all the changes well considering moving, losing her husband, and being in a whole new environment.  The first week of Dad being gone, Mom started making faces (yes funny faces), and as time passed I realized that the faces represent her feelings.  Some are laughter (and yes I make faces back), some are sad, some are pain, some are happy looks (big smiles), some are the I'm puzzled look, and my favorite:  The what's up look!  Mom spoke more the first couple of months she was here.  As the months have passed her language skills are getting more silent.  We are going to try a speech therapist this week (will let you all know how it turns out) for language and swallowing issues. 

Even though the road has had its definite rough spots, I would not trade the time I have had with my Mother and the bonding we have shared.  Some day we may have to make the assisted living decision, but not today. Till next time, hang tight!

Humor day

Hi everyone.  I am going to lighten up today.  Humor is so good for caregiver's (at least for me)!  Mom has been with us since February 2010.  When Dad was still alive he used to tell me how much Mom loved to walk around their condo complex.  She would just take off when he was resting, not paying attention, etc...she would just wander off until he noticed her gone.  He had cancer so it was not a pretty picture.  He was proud too and we could not get him to let us help him with Mom.  He felt that by taking complete care of Mom that it helped him fight the cancer, so he could be around longer.

So that leads into what happened after Mom was with us for about 2 weeks.  My husband works swing shift from about 4pm to 4am.  We had been moving Mom's personals into our house and getting her bedroom ready.  We had the basics here such as:  clothes, meds, bed, dresser, shoes, and personal items.  Mom had tried to wander off a few times here too, but we always busted her before she got too far!

My husband asked me on a Monday morning if I had left one of the suitcases by the trunk of the car in the driveway.  He thought I might have because we had brought things from the condo to our house over the weekend.  I said "I don't think so", but with everything thats going on, its possible.  So he informs me that there was a suitcase on the driveway behind the car and that he brought it into the garage.  I went out to bring the bulging suitcase in (Mom's red suitcase) and opened it up.  Mom was in the kitchen watching my every move, not saying a word.  When I opened the suitcase it was completely filled with shoes (Amelda Marcus, that's Mom) and hangers with the clothes on them.  I looked at Mom and said how did the suitcase get out on the driveway by the car?  Her reponse:  I took it out there and tried to open the trunk and couldn't, so I came back in and went to bed.

Now picture this:  a 5'3" woman in her night gown, in the middle of the night, lugging a 70lb suitcase to the driveway!  I asked where were you going?  She said "Back to the condo to live alone". 

So needless to say we had to take measures to prevent this from happening again.  Safety is a big issue with a dementia patient.  Till next time-hang tight!