I have found myself reflecting over the last couple of weeks. It's kind of when a birthday or anniversary comes up and you think of times past. Mom's five years of living at our home is an anniversary in essence. So my reflections have drifted back to the beginnings of a disease that I never knew existed. As I look back, Mom's disease started in her mid to late 50s. At that time, she and my stepfather lived in Las Vegas. They would visit Florida at least a couple of times a year and of course we would talk regularly on the phone. Initially, I noticed a big difference when I called her on the phone. She would answer the phone and really wouldn't say much. I would ask her a few questions, she gave me simple answers, and then she would hand the phone to my stepfather. This was not at all like Mom. Mom always was a little quieter around crowds, but not when she was talking one-on-one with us kids, grandkids, or her friends. I remember asking my stepfather if he noticed any changes with Mom and he said no. My stepfather was the talker so maybe he really didn't notice. I think it's important for people to know about my Mom and who she was(and still is). Maybe the changes in Mom that I write about will help those of you caring for a loved one with FTD to recognize the symptoms as you go along on your journey.
Alberta never went out of the house without makeup, the proper clothing for the occasion, or her hair out of place. She always had beautiful nails and glowing skin. She was extremely organized, detailed, was a planner, and spoke with a soft clear voice. Mom loved to read. She was one of those folks who would put away three or four books a week. You could watch the show Jeopardy with her and she would answer every question. Mom was very knowledgeable about history, politics, sports, music, and movies. Alberta worked her entire life until she retired at 62. The last 25 years of employment was at Allstate. Most of those years were as an administrative assistant in the claims division. Alberta loved to travel, go to amusement parks, garden, eat out, watch movies, listen to music, and see her family. Mom has seen about 95% of the United States, parts of Canada, Mexico, the Caribbean, and many parts of Europe.
So going back to my phone calls with Mom, as time went on the conversations were all one-sided. She hardly said anything. Sometimes there would be a long silence before she said a word. I would have to say Mom are you there? Then I also started to notice that her tone of voice was becoming emotionless. I would ask her if everything was all right and she would tell me yes Now keep in mind she is working a full-time job, taking care of their home, doing things with my stepfather, and pretty much what people do in their late 50s. So I began to think maybe I am reading more into it than what there really is. Mom was pretty healthy so that didn't concern me at the time. She had the normal cholesterol issues and elevated blood pressure, but that was it.
Mom is coming into her early 60s and is looking forward to retirement and traveling. They are also discussing moving from Las Vegas to Florida at this point in their lives. They made a definite decision in 2003 to move to Florida to be closer to family. They purchased a home on the lake about 60 miles north of the family. So even though they were now in Florida, they were a good distance away. We did get to see them more, but it was not a weekly or daily occurrence. I still called Mom and Tom on a consistent basis. As I got to see her more I noticed subtle changes through the mid-2000's. Her communication skills were still the biggest change. She was listening to what you told her but almost seemed afraid to respond. As I look back, and know more about the disease, I realize she probably could not find the right words and just became quieter. As I said earlier she also seemed quite unemotional. Loss of empathy and the ability to express and share feelings is an earlier symptom of FTD, which can also be taken as depression or many other illnesses. So Moms early-stage symptoms of FTD included speech, loss of empathy, and she was very apathetic.
It's time to end tonight and go tuck Mom in and get some rest. I'll continue on with the story which begins to get very interesting as disinhibition and behavioral issues start rearing their ugly heads! Until next time, be happy and hang tight.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Friday, February 27, 2015
Wow five years have passed!
Hi everyone. It's been a long time, but today is a great day to begin blogging again.
Exactly 5 years, to the date, mom has lived with us. Today is the five year anniversary of my stepfathers passing. It also marks the day that mom joined our household. The last time I posted was approximately 3 years ago. So much has happened and so much has changed in that short amount of time. Mom is in the end stage of her frontal lobe dementia. What does that mean? It means she is still capable of understanding what's going on (with a much longer reaction time), but is mute and bedbound. I can only imagine what it is like to be locked up inside of your own brain and not able to get out. If I was in my brain alone I would be in the insane asylum LOL. Mom also has major muscle rigidity in her upper body so she cannot write or use her hands. She cannot bend her arms, nor turn her head from side to side, or lift her head up. She is under hospice care and of course I continue to care for her 24/7. I still have an aide which allows me to at least go to the grocery store, medical appointments, and care for my grandmother.
It's all about keeping mom clean and comfortable and out of pain at this point. Mom still has her great facial expressions but her muscles in her face are also stiffening so her facial expressions are more rigid. All in all, for her condition, she seems happy and comfortable. She is very loved. The aide's I have had through the years have been loving and kind, hospice is very caring, and of course she gets much love from the family.
Caregiving for an FTD patient is very demanding and challenging from the onset of the disease and through all its progressions. There are a lot of stages we have journeyed through over the last five years that I will be blogging about. My next blog will start back three years ago and come back to the present. I hope you all will join mom and I as we journey back and simultaneously journey on. As I have often said in previous blogs humor is all important and above all gratitude is a necessity.
Until next time, be happy and hang tight!
Exactly 5 years, to the date, mom has lived with us. Today is the five year anniversary of my stepfathers passing. It also marks the day that mom joined our household. The last time I posted was approximately 3 years ago. So much has happened and so much has changed in that short amount of time. Mom is in the end stage of her frontal lobe dementia. What does that mean? It means she is still capable of understanding what's going on (with a much longer reaction time), but is mute and bedbound. I can only imagine what it is like to be locked up inside of your own brain and not able to get out. If I was in my brain alone I would be in the insane asylum LOL. Mom also has major muscle rigidity in her upper body so she cannot write or use her hands. She cannot bend her arms, nor turn her head from side to side, or lift her head up. She is under hospice care and of course I continue to care for her 24/7. I still have an aide which allows me to at least go to the grocery store, medical appointments, and care for my grandmother.
It's all about keeping mom clean and comfortable and out of pain at this point. Mom still has her great facial expressions but her muscles in her face are also stiffening so her facial expressions are more rigid. All in all, for her condition, she seems happy and comfortable. She is very loved. The aide's I have had through the years have been loving and kind, hospice is very caring, and of course she gets much love from the family.
Caregiving for an FTD patient is very demanding and challenging from the onset of the disease and through all its progressions. There are a lot of stages we have journeyed through over the last five years that I will be blogging about. My next blog will start back three years ago and come back to the present. I hope you all will join mom and I as we journey back and simultaneously journey on. As I have often said in previous blogs humor is all important and above all gratitude is a necessity.
Until next time, be happy and hang tight!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Gratitude with a heavy heart!
Hello to everyone and Merry Christmas. My heart is very heavy right now but there is still much gratitude! Sometimes it stinks to feel!
My gratitude extends to all my family and friends this Christmas Eve. I am so grateful to all of you in my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to take care of Mom and be here for her. We have made this Christmas special with lots of lights and goodies. Only the Lord knows if this will be her last Christmas.
My heart is heavy also, that she is becoming more distant. She talks so much less than she did. She won't answer most of the time when you ask a question or she will repeat what you say. I knew early on that this was a part of her disease, but until it starts happening you just don't think about it.
On a note of Gratitude, last night when I tucked Mom into bed, (yes I tuck her into bed), she said, "I love you". Now that's really special because usually I say, "I love you", and then she tells me. We have our little ritual each evening. I began to get teary eyed and told her thank you. That's what makes this all worth while.
Will catch up more after Christmas. Much to do: Parties, midnight mass for Grandma, and then off to Ocala to see family tomorrow.
See gratitude in everything, it makes life a little easier! Until next time, be happy and hang tight!
My gratitude extends to all my family and friends this Christmas Eve. I am so grateful to all of you in my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to take care of Mom and be here for her. We have made this Christmas special with lots of lights and goodies. Only the Lord knows if this will be her last Christmas.
My heart is heavy also, that she is becoming more distant. She talks so much less than she did. She won't answer most of the time when you ask a question or she will repeat what you say. I knew early on that this was a part of her disease, but until it starts happening you just don't think about it.
On a note of Gratitude, last night when I tucked Mom into bed, (yes I tuck her into bed), she said, "I love you". Now that's really special because usually I say, "I love you", and then she tells me. We have our little ritual each evening. I began to get teary eyed and told her thank you. That's what makes this all worth while.
Will catch up more after Christmas. Much to do: Parties, midnight mass for Grandma, and then off to Ocala to see family tomorrow.
See gratitude in everything, it makes life a little easier! Until next time, be happy and hang tight!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Rehab-Another lesson in Humility!
Okay, we have arrived at the Rehab after our 10 days in the hospital!
I picked this rehab because I knew it didn't stink, it was very clean, and also had high marks on its therapy programs. On Friday, the social worker said she wanted to meet with me and gather all the information she needed. As we were talking, she said that we will have a case meeting on Mom's progress in about 3 weeks. I just looked at her and said 3 weeks (Medicare pays for 21 days-get the picture)? I promptly let her know that I did not expect Mom to be in there more than a week. If anyone could gauge Mom's progress it would be me. So, I explained to the social worker that I would let her know when Mom was ready to come home. I met with the physical therapist every day. The first day Mom's balance was bad (between being weak, in pain, eating liquids, and not walking much). Each day she got stronger and more balanced. Saturday afternoon, Larry and I got reprimanded by the nurse for taking Mom for a walk (I just can't stay out of trouble). We did it because on Saturday and Sunday there would be no physical therapy as Mom was a new patient and all the scheduling was not done yet. We figured keeping her going was the best medicine. Obviously, the staff did not feel the same way!
So, Monday rolls around and physical therapy is going well. Speech Therapy, on the other hand, not so much. Mom was not on any special diet at the hospital or the rehab but I could not get anyone to understand that she is much better on solids than liquids. I had to be at the rehab for all of her meals to make sure she didn't choke to death. I had spoke to the nurse's at the rehab and explained Mom's swallowing issues and could we please give her real food, but they said I had to speak to the speech therapist. After being persistent, I finally caught up with the speech therapist who had evaluated Mom.
Now, remember I have had Mom in outpatient speech therapy for the last 4 months and we have already had a swallowing test done (her swallowing devices are fine) etc....etc...The rehab speech therapist's thoughts were that if Mom choked so easily on liquids, she would definitely not be able to handle solids. I gave him all the reasons why he was wrong and then asked him if we could go see Mom together with different types of foods to try. I explained to him on the way to Mom's room about her particular form of dementia FTD, because of the swallowing issue and he had the idea that Mom was in another world because she didn't talk much to him. He did not understand at first that her swallowing problems were due to her brain not acting on the art of swallowing right away. Mom's brain needs time to process things, and with swallowing it needs some ques to get the motion going. Before we played with the foods, I asked Mom some questions to prove my point about her intellect and speech. Next, was food therapy. So the therapist started with liquids, than progressed to jello, than a granola bar, and finally a banana. With liquids Mom has to be told to swallow sometimes unless its with a straw than that activates her brain to swallow. The jello, granola bar, and banana got chewed up and swallowed like a charm. The speech therapist was a little surprised. He admitted to me that he did get an education on FTD and he has never had a patient like Mom. So by Wednesday Mom got to progress to pureed foods (yippee).
On Friday, the physical therapist and I walked with Mom up curbs, down long hallways, and then getting her in and out of chairs, bed, etc..She was pretty much back to normal. She still had tummy pain and was still recuperating from the gallbladder removal but she was steady on her feet and ready to come home. So we made the great escape on Saturday just in time for dinner at the house; Mom's favorite and real food-pork chops!!!!!
Mom is doing very well and pretty much back to where she was before this all happened. Mom's disease is progressive. When something else jumps in like surgery, there is a good chance of the person not coming back to the place they were before the event. The biggest difference is she is a little quieter. She's back in Adult Daycare, speech therapy (outpatient), riding in the 68 Stang, smiling, and bopping around.
These adventures at the hospital and rehab have taught me a couple of lessons: Be prepared to explain to every medical professional about Mom's disease, so they don't treat her like she's indifferent and/or stupid. Make sure Mom is taken care of as these places are understaffed and don't get around enough to look in on the patients. Be gentle but assertive to them to meet your needs. Let them know when you appreciate them, because some of them are great medical professionals. And last but not least, I do feel for those of you who are unable to be close enough to know that your loved one is being taken care of and not overstaying their welcome because they have no one to speak up for them or they have wonderful insurance benefits!!!!
As always-Be Happy and Hang Tight!
I picked this rehab because I knew it didn't stink, it was very clean, and also had high marks on its therapy programs. On Friday, the social worker said she wanted to meet with me and gather all the information she needed. As we were talking, she said that we will have a case meeting on Mom's progress in about 3 weeks. I just looked at her and said 3 weeks (Medicare pays for 21 days-get the picture)? I promptly let her know that I did not expect Mom to be in there more than a week. If anyone could gauge Mom's progress it would be me. So, I explained to the social worker that I would let her know when Mom was ready to come home. I met with the physical therapist every day. The first day Mom's balance was bad (between being weak, in pain, eating liquids, and not walking much). Each day she got stronger and more balanced. Saturday afternoon, Larry and I got reprimanded by the nurse for taking Mom for a walk (I just can't stay out of trouble). We did it because on Saturday and Sunday there would be no physical therapy as Mom was a new patient and all the scheduling was not done yet. We figured keeping her going was the best medicine. Obviously, the staff did not feel the same way!
So, Monday rolls around and physical therapy is going well. Speech Therapy, on the other hand, not so much. Mom was not on any special diet at the hospital or the rehab but I could not get anyone to understand that she is much better on solids than liquids. I had to be at the rehab for all of her meals to make sure she didn't choke to death. I had spoke to the nurse's at the rehab and explained Mom's swallowing issues and could we please give her real food, but they said I had to speak to the speech therapist. After being persistent, I finally caught up with the speech therapist who had evaluated Mom.
Now, remember I have had Mom in outpatient speech therapy for the last 4 months and we have already had a swallowing test done (her swallowing devices are fine) etc....etc...The rehab speech therapist's thoughts were that if Mom choked so easily on liquids, she would definitely not be able to handle solids. I gave him all the reasons why he was wrong and then asked him if we could go see Mom together with different types of foods to try. I explained to him on the way to Mom's room about her particular form of dementia FTD, because of the swallowing issue and he had the idea that Mom was in another world because she didn't talk much to him. He did not understand at first that her swallowing problems were due to her brain not acting on the art of swallowing right away. Mom's brain needs time to process things, and with swallowing it needs some ques to get the motion going. Before we played with the foods, I asked Mom some questions to prove my point about her intellect and speech. Next, was food therapy. So the therapist started with liquids, than progressed to jello, than a granola bar, and finally a banana. With liquids Mom has to be told to swallow sometimes unless its with a straw than that activates her brain to swallow. The jello, granola bar, and banana got chewed up and swallowed like a charm. The speech therapist was a little surprised. He admitted to me that he did get an education on FTD and he has never had a patient like Mom. So by Wednesday Mom got to progress to pureed foods (yippee).
On Friday, the physical therapist and I walked with Mom up curbs, down long hallways, and then getting her in and out of chairs, bed, etc..She was pretty much back to normal. She still had tummy pain and was still recuperating from the gallbladder removal but she was steady on her feet and ready to come home. So we made the great escape on Saturday just in time for dinner at the house; Mom's favorite and real food-pork chops!!!!!
Mom is doing very well and pretty much back to where she was before this all happened. Mom's disease is progressive. When something else jumps in like surgery, there is a good chance of the person not coming back to the place they were before the event. The biggest difference is she is a little quieter. She's back in Adult Daycare, speech therapy (outpatient), riding in the 68 Stang, smiling, and bopping around.
These adventures at the hospital and rehab have taught me a couple of lessons: Be prepared to explain to every medical professional about Mom's disease, so they don't treat her like she's indifferent and/or stupid. Make sure Mom is taken care of as these places are understaffed and don't get around enough to look in on the patients. Be gentle but assertive to them to meet your needs. Let them know when you appreciate them, because some of them are great medical professionals. And last but not least, I do feel for those of you who are unable to be close enough to know that your loved one is being taken care of and not overstaying their welcome because they have no one to speak up for them or they have wonderful insurance benefits!!!!
As always-Be Happy and Hang Tight!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Hospital/Rehab-a lesson in assertiveness and patience!!!!
So are you with me? I'm not sure I am. I have the permanent cast on now for 3 days and then comes Mom's problems. Its Friday night and Mom is having stomach problems (will not go into detail). Saturday rolls around and Mom is still having stomach problems but is now pointing to her stomach and letting me know it hurts. Sunday rolls around and things are getting worse not better. Its very hard to gauge a person's pain when they cannot come right out and tell you. By knowing her facial expressions and normal routines (mentally and physically), I can usually know something is going on. So I call the Dr's. office. I explain all the symptoms and the Dr. says I should take her to the emergency room to get checked out as we were both concerned about dehydration.
We get to the emergency room and I already know they are going to keep her. She was somewhat dehydrated and her stomach still hurt. They did an ultrasound that night which showed nothing. On Monday, it was decided that a colonoscopy would be done because of one of the symptoms she was having. The colonoscopy turned out fine-spastic colon and non- cancerous polyp-Yes! Dr. says Mom may very well go home Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning comes around and Dr. calls me at 7am and says Mom is vomiting so she won't be going home. We had the same Dr. who did the colonoscopy do the endoscopy (I asked for him). Unfortunately, we could not get it done until Wednesday. Test results came back with an inflamed esophagus and an ulcer-Yes we have gotten to the problem! So, we get to escape on Thursday with new medications and diet restrictions-not so fast!
Thursday morning rolls around and Doc calls me again around 7am (she called me every morning that Mom was in the Hospital-Thanks Doc with gratitude), says Mom's liver count is extremely high and that she won't be coming home. At this point I am tired, easily agitated, running out of patience, and wanting Mom home. Now, poor Mom, the whole time all this is going on they won't give her anything but liquids-Mom likes solid food! She chokes easily and holds liquids in her mouth, but only liquids. I tried to tell them to let her have regular food-to no avail! They did at least have her up and walking around with a physical therapist every morning, but she was getting weak eating liquids and laying around. So the Dr's. put their expertise together and decided we are going to get a CT Scan of Mom's abdomen. This happened on Friday. We get the results very late on Friday and Dr. calls me that night after conferring with the other Dr. that Mom has gallstones. Now, Mom has been prone to kidney stones throughout her lifetime and both Dr's. knew this and the emergency room did too. So looking back, we could have discovered this on Sunday night in the emergency room had they did a CT instead of an ultrasound. As I look back on all of this, I try to be grateful, because now I do know a few more items that need attention on Mom's behalf.
So, what's next? Surgery. I told Mom she just wanted matching scars! We could not get surgery scheduled until Tuesday. So there was poor Mom drinking her food and bored as heck! They still would not give her solid food! The surgeon came out and talked with me about the gallbladder removal. He said he removed a stone the size of a dime with her gallbladder, so Mom got a little bigger hole in her. She was pretty much out of it until Wednesday afternoon. Mom's Dr. asked me if I wanted to take her home or have her go into a rehab. center for a while. Mom was weak and in pain and I was in a cast. I told Doc rehab. I needed Mom to get her strength and balance back. I figured a few days and she would be home. I asked for a specific rehab. Mom got transferred on Thursday to the rehab.
I learned through this experience that I have many concerns, number one being that most medical professionals do not know what FTD is. They think Alzheimer's. They automatically assume that Mom does not understand what is going on because she does not talk much or they are too busy to wait for the answer. What scares me is Mom is so quiet that she will not let staff know what her needs are. I decided after this ordeal that if I ever have to place Mom in a facility that she will go down quickly. She would be the quiet one that never gets out of the room, but would be the staff's favorite because she does not complain and smiles all the time!
So until next time and the rehab story-Be Happy and Hang Tight!
We get to the emergency room and I already know they are going to keep her. She was somewhat dehydrated and her stomach still hurt. They did an ultrasound that night which showed nothing. On Monday, it was decided that a colonoscopy would be done because of one of the symptoms she was having. The colonoscopy turned out fine-spastic colon and non- cancerous polyp-Yes! Dr. says Mom may very well go home Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning comes around and Dr. calls me at 7am and says Mom is vomiting so she won't be going home. We had the same Dr. who did the colonoscopy do the endoscopy (I asked for him). Unfortunately, we could not get it done until Wednesday. Test results came back with an inflamed esophagus and an ulcer-Yes we have gotten to the problem! So, we get to escape on Thursday with new medications and diet restrictions-not so fast!
Thursday morning rolls around and Doc calls me again around 7am (she called me every morning that Mom was in the Hospital-Thanks Doc with gratitude), says Mom's liver count is extremely high and that she won't be coming home. At this point I am tired, easily agitated, running out of patience, and wanting Mom home. Now, poor Mom, the whole time all this is going on they won't give her anything but liquids-Mom likes solid food! She chokes easily and holds liquids in her mouth, but only liquids. I tried to tell them to let her have regular food-to no avail! They did at least have her up and walking around with a physical therapist every morning, but she was getting weak eating liquids and laying around. So the Dr's. put their expertise together and decided we are going to get a CT Scan of Mom's abdomen. This happened on Friday. We get the results very late on Friday and Dr. calls me that night after conferring with the other Dr. that Mom has gallstones. Now, Mom has been prone to kidney stones throughout her lifetime and both Dr's. knew this and the emergency room did too. So looking back, we could have discovered this on Sunday night in the emergency room had they did a CT instead of an ultrasound. As I look back on all of this, I try to be grateful, because now I do know a few more items that need attention on Mom's behalf.
So, what's next? Surgery. I told Mom she just wanted matching scars! We could not get surgery scheduled until Tuesday. So there was poor Mom drinking her food and bored as heck! They still would not give her solid food! The surgeon came out and talked with me about the gallbladder removal. He said he removed a stone the size of a dime with her gallbladder, so Mom got a little bigger hole in her. She was pretty much out of it until Wednesday afternoon. Mom's Dr. asked me if I wanted to take her home or have her go into a rehab. center for a while. Mom was weak and in pain and I was in a cast. I told Doc rehab. I needed Mom to get her strength and balance back. I figured a few days and she would be home. I asked for a specific rehab. Mom got transferred on Thursday to the rehab.
I learned through this experience that I have many concerns, number one being that most medical professionals do not know what FTD is. They think Alzheimer's. They automatically assume that Mom does not understand what is going on because she does not talk much or they are too busy to wait for the answer. What scares me is Mom is so quiet that she will not let staff know what her needs are. I decided after this ordeal that if I ever have to place Mom in a facility that she will go down quickly. She would be the quiet one that never gets out of the room, but would be the staff's favorite because she does not complain and smiles all the time!
So until next time and the rehab story-Be Happy and Hang Tight!
Monday, October 3, 2011
We are back!!!
I really missed my blog! The last three months have been full of laughter, tears of joy and sorrow, and quite the education. This blog will be a little of a catch up and not my typical humor. But the humor is coming back-stay tuned!
Back in June, I had some female surgery which hurt for awhile number one, and number two affected my care giving. Could you imagine no lifting for 6 weeks or driving for 2 weeks as a caregiver and homemaker? Well, me being the good patient I am, I did not follow direction from the Doc, but did things as I felt I could handle them. The first couple of weeks were the roughest by far, having to depend on the boys and Grandma. Grandma was great with letting me rest at the beginning and doing the laundry at almost 94-God Bless you Grandma! Husband and son did the best they could with work, college, lawn, cooking, and housekeeping duties. My biggest complaint was it didn't get done in my time! Thank you boys! So other than feeling incompetent, isolated (my fault), and restricted, it all worked out. Everyone is still alive and breathing!
So then in July, I decide my medical deductible has been met and I was also having problems with my left hand for the past few months. I went and saw an orthopedic hand specialist and find out I have osteoarthritis! I look at him and say "I am a little young for this, am I not?" And he said, "No, its genetics." Yippee!!! So I received my first cortisone shot, which I yelped like a puppy and hoped the shot would do the trick! About 3 weeks later my thumb was worse than ever. Back to the Dr. I went. I knew what the outcome was before I even got there-surgery. So on a Wednesday, I went under the knife again for a lapraplasty on my thumb and oh while we were at it, a carpel tunnel release!
I really think the hand surgery was much more painful than the female surgery. I am right handed and the surgery was on the left hand, but you have no idea how much you use both hands. I was in a temporary cast for 1 1/2 weeks until the stitches could be removed and then in a hard cast for 3 more weeks. Now, taking care of Mom was almost impossible, I could hardly take care of me. I have home health aides and Mom goes to adult daycare on the weekdays but I feel I take the best care of Mom as far as keeping her clean. Mom and the one-armed bandit made it through with several trials and tribulations!
Just after my hand surgery, within a week, Mom ended up in the Hospital! To be continued-until then Be Happy and Hang Tight!!!!
Keep coming back as we will be on a blog streak to play catch up!
Back in June, I had some female surgery which hurt for awhile number one, and number two affected my care giving. Could you imagine no lifting for 6 weeks or driving for 2 weeks as a caregiver and homemaker? Well, me being the good patient I am, I did not follow direction from the Doc, but did things as I felt I could handle them. The first couple of weeks were the roughest by far, having to depend on the boys and Grandma. Grandma was great with letting me rest at the beginning and doing the laundry at almost 94-God Bless you Grandma! Husband and son did the best they could with work, college, lawn, cooking, and housekeeping duties. My biggest complaint was it didn't get done in my time! Thank you boys! So other than feeling incompetent, isolated (my fault), and restricted, it all worked out. Everyone is still alive and breathing!
So then in July, I decide my medical deductible has been met and I was also having problems with my left hand for the past few months. I went and saw an orthopedic hand specialist and find out I have osteoarthritis! I look at him and say "I am a little young for this, am I not?" And he said, "No, its genetics." Yippee!!! So I received my first cortisone shot, which I yelped like a puppy and hoped the shot would do the trick! About 3 weeks later my thumb was worse than ever. Back to the Dr. I went. I knew what the outcome was before I even got there-surgery. So on a Wednesday, I went under the knife again for a lapraplasty on my thumb and oh while we were at it, a carpel tunnel release!
I really think the hand surgery was much more painful than the female surgery. I am right handed and the surgery was on the left hand, but you have no idea how much you use both hands. I was in a temporary cast for 1 1/2 weeks until the stitches could be removed and then in a hard cast for 3 more weeks. Now, taking care of Mom was almost impossible, I could hardly take care of me. I have home health aides and Mom goes to adult daycare on the weekdays but I feel I take the best care of Mom as far as keeping her clean. Mom and the one-armed bandit made it through with several trials and tribulations!
Just after my hand surgery, within a week, Mom ended up in the Hospital! To be continued-until then Be Happy and Hang Tight!!!!
Keep coming back as we will be on a blog streak to play catch up!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Overly Affectionate
Hi All!
I know this can be a problem for a lot of caregivers. It can be difficult to handle a man with overly affectionate intentions, especially for a female caregiver. Luckily for me, that's not the case. I have smiley, over affectionate Mom. She smiles, hugs, and asks for kisses!
Picking up Mom the other day from Adult Daycare I discovered Mom was a little overly affectionate. It was disclosed to me that Mom wanted to kiss and hug everyone (men and women alike). Personally, I don't find this a problem. Hitting or affectionate (hmm, let me think).
Okay, at the daycare it can be a problem, especially when redirecting her was not working. Some other daycare guests do not like to be hugged, kissed, etc...It was suggested to me to ask her Dr. about any drugs that would help to keep her a little more poised. I resented the fact of even thinking of putting Mom on anymore drugs. I would much rather have an affectionate, smiling Mom who is not walking around like a zombie! Why is putting someone on more drugs the answer for every problem? I told the daycare I would not put Mom on anymore drugs but that I would contact her dementia Dr. to see what could be done and that I would have a talk with Mom.
Mom and I had our talk about hugging, kissing, touching, hitting, etc...The rules are the rules and she must abide by them. Our discussion went well and we have been overly affectionate clear for about a week and a half. I did also speak with Mom's Dr.. She informed me that for women their is really no medication to help with inappropriate sexual behavior. Men are a different story: they can give them female hormones to offset the testosterone.
I personally don't believe that hugging and kissing are inappropriate sexual behavior, I like to think of it as being affectionate. I will admit I am overly protective of Mom. My thinking and watching Mom on a daily basis leads me to believe that because her speech is getting more limited, being affectionate is her way of letting you know she cares and appreciates you. She is just lovable!
So the moral for Mom is: redirect, redirect, and redirect the behavior when being affectionate gets overused.
Be happy and hang tight!
I know this can be a problem for a lot of caregivers. It can be difficult to handle a man with overly affectionate intentions, especially for a female caregiver. Luckily for me, that's not the case. I have smiley, over affectionate Mom. She smiles, hugs, and asks for kisses!
Picking up Mom the other day from Adult Daycare I discovered Mom was a little overly affectionate. It was disclosed to me that Mom wanted to kiss and hug everyone (men and women alike). Personally, I don't find this a problem. Hitting or affectionate (hmm, let me think).
Okay, at the daycare it can be a problem, especially when redirecting her was not working. Some other daycare guests do not like to be hugged, kissed, etc...It was suggested to me to ask her Dr. about any drugs that would help to keep her a little more poised. I resented the fact of even thinking of putting Mom on anymore drugs. I would much rather have an affectionate, smiling Mom who is not walking around like a zombie! Why is putting someone on more drugs the answer for every problem? I told the daycare I would not put Mom on anymore drugs but that I would contact her dementia Dr. to see what could be done and that I would have a talk with Mom.
Mom and I had our talk about hugging, kissing, touching, hitting, etc...The rules are the rules and she must abide by them. Our discussion went well and we have been overly affectionate clear for about a week and a half. I did also speak with Mom's Dr.. She informed me that for women their is really no medication to help with inappropriate sexual behavior. Men are a different story: they can give them female hormones to offset the testosterone.
I personally don't believe that hugging and kissing are inappropriate sexual behavior, I like to think of it as being affectionate. I will admit I am overly protective of Mom. My thinking and watching Mom on a daily basis leads me to believe that because her speech is getting more limited, being affectionate is her way of letting you know she cares and appreciates you. She is just lovable!
So the moral for Mom is: redirect, redirect, and redirect the behavior when being affectionate gets overused.
Be happy and hang tight!
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