Overly Affectionate

Hi All!

I know this can be a problem for a lot of caregivers.  It can be difficult to handle a man with overly affectionate intentions, especially for a female caregiver.  Luckily for me, that's not the case.  I have smiley, over affectionate Mom.  She smiles, hugs, and asks for kisses!

Picking up Mom the other day from Adult Daycare I discovered Mom was a little overly affectionate.  It was disclosed to me that Mom wanted to kiss and hug everyone (men and women alike).  Personally, I don't find this a problem.  Hitting or affectionate (hmm, let me think). 

Okay, at the daycare it can be a problem, especially when redirecting her was not working.  Some other daycare guests do not like to be hugged, kissed, etc...It was suggested to me to ask her Dr. about any drugs that would help to keep her a little more poised.  I resented the fact of even thinking of putting Mom on anymore drugs.  I would much rather have an affectionate, smiling Mom who is not walking around like a zombie!  Why is putting someone on more drugs the answer for every problem?  I told the daycare I would not put Mom on anymore drugs but that I would contact her dementia Dr. to see what could be done and that I would have a talk with Mom.

Mom and I had our talk about hugging, kissing, touching, hitting, etc...The rules are the rules and she must abide by them.  Our discussion went well and we have been overly affectionate clear for about a week and a half.  I did also speak with Mom's Dr..  She informed me that for women their is really no medication to help with inappropriate sexual behavior.  Men are a different story:  they can give them female hormones to offset the testosterone. 

I personally don't believe that hugging and kissing are inappropriate sexual behavior, I like to think of it as being affectionate.  I will admit I am overly protective of Mom.  My thinking and watching Mom on a daily basis leads me to believe that because her speech is getting more limited, being affectionate is her way of letting you know she cares and appreciates you.  She is just lovable!

So the moral for Mom is:  redirect, redirect, and redirect the behavior when being affectionate gets overused. 

Be happy and hang tight!