Hi All!
I know this can be a problem for a lot of caregivers. It can be difficult to handle a man with overly affectionate intentions, especially for a female caregiver. Luckily for me, that's not the case. I have smiley, over affectionate Mom. She smiles, hugs, and asks for kisses!
Picking up Mom the other day from Adult Daycare I discovered Mom was a little overly affectionate. It was disclosed to me that Mom wanted to kiss and hug everyone (men and women alike). Personally, I don't find this a problem. Hitting or affectionate (hmm, let me think).
Okay, at the daycare it can be a problem, especially when redirecting her was not working. Some other daycare guests do not like to be hugged, kissed, etc...It was suggested to me to ask her Dr. about any drugs that would help to keep her a little more poised. I resented the fact of even thinking of putting Mom on anymore drugs. I would much rather have an affectionate, smiling Mom who is not walking around like a zombie! Why is putting someone on more drugs the answer for every problem? I told the daycare I would not put Mom on anymore drugs but that I would contact her dementia Dr. to see what could be done and that I would have a talk with Mom.
Mom and I had our talk about hugging, kissing, touching, hitting, etc...The rules are the rules and she must abide by them. Our discussion went well and we have been overly affectionate clear for about a week and a half. I did also speak with Mom's Dr.. She informed me that for women their is really no medication to help with inappropriate sexual behavior. Men are a different story: they can give them female hormones to offset the testosterone.
I personally don't believe that hugging and kissing are inappropriate sexual behavior, I like to think of it as being affectionate. I will admit I am overly protective of Mom. My thinking and watching Mom on a daily basis leads me to believe that because her speech is getting more limited, being affectionate is her way of letting you know she cares and appreciates you. She is just lovable!
So the moral for Mom is: redirect, redirect, and redirect the behavior when being affectionate gets overused.
Be happy and hang tight!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Bright Lights and lots of smiles!
The 4rth of July in Florida is always unpredictable. I had not been out of the house for almost two weeks and was going nuts (that's putting it mildly). So I had these grandiose plans of going to Clearwater or St. Pete Beach to see some of the best light shows over the water. Well, with Florida weather those plans changed and in hindsight, for the best. The little City of Port Richey (population around 3.5K) had a fireworks show at a waterfront park. After watching the radar all afternoon we decided to take a chance and go.
It was Mom, my husband, and I. As we got within two miles of the park, traffic got rough, the clouds were talking and shooting light! We decided to continue on. We got by the park entrance and the police officer said they had 3 more spots in the park for parking. I was just going to ask where we could park as Mom could not walk for miles as others were doing. We were the second to last car to get parking in the park. Talk about being watched over!
Larry gathered our chairs and soda and I gathered Mom. We found a beautiful spot on a hill to set up camp. There was a beautiful breeze off the water and the clouds were quieting down.
From the moment we left the car, Mom was like a little kid looking at all the people and smiling all the while. After sitting for a bit, Mom started getting ants in her pants and got up to walk. Larry said let her walk a bit and he would follow her from a distance. As she walked past dozens of people, she stopped by a man in a scooter and just stood there and smiled at him. I could see he was talking to her but all she did was smile back at him. Larry caught up with her and walked a bit further. On the way back to camp, Mom had to stop and smile at the man on the scooter one more time.
I watched Mom on and off throughout the fireworks show. It was like watching a child, fascinated with the lights and sounds of our Great America. Her eyes lit up and every so often she would grab and hold my hand. I am so glad we ventured out to see the little town show. God had everything fall into place for us. When we got home, I thought what if this is the last July 4rth with my Mom? If it is, it was perfect!!!
Be happy and hang tight!
It was Mom, my husband, and I. As we got within two miles of the park, traffic got rough, the clouds were talking and shooting light! We decided to continue on. We got by the park entrance and the police officer said they had 3 more spots in the park for parking. I was just going to ask where we could park as Mom could not walk for miles as others were doing. We were the second to last car to get parking in the park. Talk about being watched over!
Larry gathered our chairs and soda and I gathered Mom. We found a beautiful spot on a hill to set up camp. There was a beautiful breeze off the water and the clouds were quieting down.
From the moment we left the car, Mom was like a little kid looking at all the people and smiling all the while. After sitting for a bit, Mom started getting ants in her pants and got up to walk. Larry said let her walk a bit and he would follow her from a distance. As she walked past dozens of people, she stopped by a man in a scooter and just stood there and smiled at him. I could see he was talking to her but all she did was smile back at him. Larry caught up with her and walked a bit further. On the way back to camp, Mom had to stop and smile at the man on the scooter one more time.
I watched Mom on and off throughout the fireworks show. It was like watching a child, fascinated with the lights and sounds of our Great America. Her eyes lit up and every so often she would grab and hold my hand. I am so glad we ventured out to see the little town show. God had everything fall into place for us. When we got home, I thought what if this is the last July 4rth with my Mom? If it is, it was perfect!!!
Be happy and hang tight!
Doctors, Doctors Everywhere!
Hi all. Yes, we still live and breathe! Finished with the Doctor's for now with Mom except the speech therapy once a week. It is going well. It does not make Mom talk anymore but helps with her understanding, pronunciation, and communication in general. We also practice at home a couple of times a week by finishing phrases, describing pictures, etc...
We saw Mom's FTD Dr. last week and went over the brain scan and we all met with the Dr. Its kinda cool because the Dr. takes Mom in by herself and runs her tests and scopes how Mom's overall happiness level is and then invites the rest of the family in without Mom to compare notes and answer questions. So the prognosis is: Mom is happy and content, her orientation skills are doing well, and she is at a moderate stage of her disease if you figure in all aspects of her brain (some areas are good/others are not). It was very interesting seeing the brain scan. There are actually pieces of her frontal lobe missing where there was once brain mass. The dark holes have gotten larger from the scan back in 2009. No signs at all of Alzheimer's. It is eerie to see just blank spots.
Anyway, where have I been. I have been recuperating from major surgery from 3 weeks ago. Feel great, but still not allowed to do anything for another week. For the first two weeks, it was hard. I was not suppose to do anything at all, not even drive. Depending on others for my own needs is hard enough to swallow but also having to depend on others fully for Mom's care was even worse. It seems no one can live up to my expectations as to how my Mom should be taken care of. I can definitely feel for whatever nursing facility my Mom may end up at, because I am very demanding in the respect I want my Mom clean at all times. And yes, I did things I should not have done but Mom's cleanliness is extremely important to me.
So what did I learn from the experience? Mom's cleanliness and needs are more important to me than they are to Mom. I learned to let go and let God /others do what I could not. My husband and son stepped up to the plate without striking out. My grandmother (Mom's Mom) gave up her fun time and bed to come help out with what she could. I am grateful!
So there's where we are-how about you? Be happy and hang tight!
We saw Mom's FTD Dr. last week and went over the brain scan and we all met with the Dr. Its kinda cool because the Dr. takes Mom in by herself and runs her tests and scopes how Mom's overall happiness level is and then invites the rest of the family in without Mom to compare notes and answer questions. So the prognosis is: Mom is happy and content, her orientation skills are doing well, and she is at a moderate stage of her disease if you figure in all aspects of her brain (some areas are good/others are not). It was very interesting seeing the brain scan. There are actually pieces of her frontal lobe missing where there was once brain mass. The dark holes have gotten larger from the scan back in 2009. No signs at all of Alzheimer's. It is eerie to see just blank spots.
Anyway, where have I been. I have been recuperating from major surgery from 3 weeks ago. Feel great, but still not allowed to do anything for another week. For the first two weeks, it was hard. I was not suppose to do anything at all, not even drive. Depending on others for my own needs is hard enough to swallow but also having to depend on others fully for Mom's care was even worse. It seems no one can live up to my expectations as to how my Mom should be taken care of. I can definitely feel for whatever nursing facility my Mom may end up at, because I am very demanding in the respect I want my Mom clean at all times. And yes, I did things I should not have done but Mom's cleanliness is extremely important to me.
So what did I learn from the experience? Mom's cleanliness and needs are more important to me than they are to Mom. I learned to let go and let God /others do what I could not. My husband and son stepped up to the plate without striking out. My grandmother (Mom's Mom) gave up her fun time and bed to come help out with what she could. I am grateful!
So there's where we are-how about you? Be happy and hang tight!
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